Here is today's discussion item:
Seventeen-year old Maria is really excited about the
Junior prom. Her parents have never met her date,
and – although she’s going with a group of couples –
they’re nervous about her being safe. Maria described
her date as nice, funny, and a good guy. Maria’s mother
went onto MySpace to look him up, without telling her
daughter. She found his MySpace profile (which was
public). She saw some pictures where he appears to be
drinking, as well as some posts and other content that
were degrading to women. After seeing this, she feels
really uncomfortable having this boy take Maria to the
prom and has become even more worried.
1) Should Maria’s mom confront her daughter about
what she saw on MySpace?
2) Is it okay for parents to use profiles as a way to check
up on their teens’ friends or social life – especially if
they’re public?
Maria's mom should have talked it over with her BEFORE checking out her boyfriend's MySpace... Yes, a mom has a right to do that, but Maria should have been aware of it from the get go. It's rude, an invasion of privacy and shows to her daughter that she doesn't trust her or her judgment.
ReplyDeleteI wholeheartedly agree with the checking up on who your daughter sees, my own mother does that, but the way she went about it was all wrong.
-Sunsetpinky
deffenitly maybe if Maria's mother confronts her daughter Maria could help shine some light on the subject.I don't think it shows that her mother doesn't trust her it's just that she wants her to be safe or it's the date she doesn't trust and thats understandable seeing how see never met him even once.
ReplyDeleteI think that if the person didn't want ppl looking at there MySpace or what ever site your using they would block it.Also you can never be to safe these days so...it's a good thing to watch these things because you never know...
<3Cheese<3
It may not be true that Maria's mom doesn't trust her, what I meant was it would seem that way to Maria. Doing something like that behind Maria's back like that, to any teenager I know, would feel like a betrayal if they found out. Definitely should have confronted Maria first, then looked.
ReplyDeleteI agree with looking at the profiles, they should just do it only after talking to their children about it! Even if they disagree, at least then they would know what's going on and why.
I think it is necessary for her to confront her about this, I believe that her mother only did what thought was right. The daughter never introduced him now making it a problem, instead of avoiding the problem and introducing the boyfriend. Now the mother might have got the wrong impression but that's what pictures do.
ReplyDeleteParents are aloud to do anything they want, they don't have to ask, it's just a sign of
respect and a stronger bond can be made cause now there is trust between the parent and child.
A Double standards apply to this too,
Like if you were a parent and had son.
One day he went on a date would you be as
concern has your daughter going out on a date.
It goes for many other things it ain't fair,
it's just a parental instinct
ox-Butterflygirl-xo
Yes parents can be over protective, and no they shouldn't be lurking around myspace for information about their daughters boyfriends. Not only is it an invasion of privacy, it also takes away the trust between her and her daughter.Should she confront her daughter about what she saw, yes because she has already seen the boys myspace page, she might aswell talk to her for a saftey perpose as well as apollogise for not trusting her (which she probably won't ).
ReplyDeletewell I think she is old enough to make her own decision because not all decisions we makes in life end up been bad. you cant just judge a book according to it cover.but her mom have a good reason on checking up on who her daughter is hanging out wit or going out with she is just doing her job by been a responsible mom (BIRDMAN)
ReplyDelete"...She found his MySpace profile (which was
ReplyDeletepublic)...." It doesn't matter if it's about her "privacy" at the moment it's about her safety, and it was a public account there was no intrusive behavior or act ... she wanted info and she got it and she shouldn't feel bad about herself or the deed she did, she should feel great that she saved her daughter from mistakes now her daughter can avoid. And if she really wants to learn and understand find someone who is older and is wise. Because there is no kid that is as wise someone who has already been through it all.
Every person is entitled to there on decision, people make bad and stupid decisions every day. It's how some of us learn. But why not avoid learning the hard way and get a way without the broken hearts or regrets. Life's too short to learn every mistake. Do yourself a favor to anyone who has a protective parent. Suck it up and I promise you will thank them later. For the kids who don't really have anyone to go to for advice, see your school guidance counselor.
ox-Butterfly-xo
I don't think it's about privacy, more about showing trust. I agree that she did the right thing, the only problem is she didn't tell her daughter about it first.
ReplyDeleteparents do have a right to see ur profile if its open to public but if i was the guy and my gf's mother seen my profile id be disapointed because we all have our own lifes and even if theres pictures of u drinking it dosent mean that your a alcoholic because of 1 picture
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI just got to say if "her date was nice, funny, and a good guy." why didn't she ever bring her home. Giving the mother that "lack of trust", not no trust at all , just a lack of trust...? Isn't being a mother about caring and a duty to think outside the "box". The trust has been played with and this is when thing start to go down hill. And the time for the mother to take precautionary actions.
ReplyDelete###@*% Gobbler %*@###
goes with what I said and didn't you ever here the phrase "A picture says a thousand words"
bye
ox-Butterfly-xo
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ReplyDeletetdog
I think that Maria's mom should talk to her but she does not have to tell Maria that she checked out her date on MySpace.
ReplyDeleteI think that every parent has the choice to do what they want with their kids, and parents are aloud to make sure that their child will be safe no matter what.
For parents to have a MySpace or a Facebook account it's up to the parents. It's their child, they can do what they want.
Of course the kid wont be happy that their mother or father is following everything on their MySpace/ Facebook but hey that's life.
Until Maria is 19 I don't think she has much choice but to do what her parents say...
Just think of it this way... : What ever floats your boat.
TTYL
Signed,
Girl with a passion
I so agree with the fact that rents don't need to talk about everything with there kids there the parents THE BOSS.If you were to look at it not from a teenage view but a parents view and if that were your kid don't you think you would want to find out all of this info (not saying one pic says all).but If her mother would have talked to Maria do you think the pics would have stayed on his My Space...NO...they would have been removed to make him look like a nicer guy whitch he may be but her mother would not have seen the real him.
ReplyDeleteAlso im to wondering why this boy was never brought to meet the parents lol doesn't sound like such a nice boy to me.
<3Cheese<3
I think her mom should confront her if shes not comfortable with what he looks like and does cause its for her safty. And she doesnt have to tell Maria thats she was on his mySpace all she has to say was someone told her about him and she doesnt trust him .
ReplyDeleteI Don't think parents Should use profiles for a way to keep track what there kids are doing or to keep and eye on them , Parents should trust there kids when they tell them something and if you have a feeling something is wrong just ask your child and they would tell you . I Find It An invasion of the kids privacy , kids she should be able to do somethings with out there parents reading or seeing every single thing they do .
<3 GoldFish <3
yes but if she didn't give the opportunity to not trust him she wouldn't have had to go see anything.Really you think kids always tell the truth....think for a second lol..no its not that easy.At points of time when kid wanna do something they most of the do it.
ReplyDelete<3Cheese<3
I believe that the mother has all right to confront her daughter, even though her date may be an amazing guy in her daughter's eyes, its not always the case. But on the other side he may not be a grade A guy but maybe her daughters the exact same, maybe she drinks and has degrading pictures of her on her myspace too. So in the end should her mother really be worried about her date or her own daughter? (your mother doesn't always know who you actually are)
ReplyDeleteAnd i think parents should at times check there kids myspace and facebook. You can learn alot about one from this. One may show signs of depression or show signs that there getting bullied at school and a parent could see this and seek help for there children. Kids shouldn't always take it as an invasion of privacy.
-The Black Power Ranger-
i think her mom had every right to look up on his Myspace, after all it was easy to find and any other person could see it, so why not the mother of the daughter your dating. her mother should confront her about it, but just because she feels uncomfortable about the boy, but i dont think that her mother should only judge the boy on his myspace page.
ReplyDeleteParents should know a little about there childrens social life, cuz after all they were teens too, and they prob went through lots of the stuff we do, they are just trying to protect us so we dont make big mistakes that we will regret. our parents are just looking out for our well being.
xoxo<3 41magnum <3
yes i think her mom should confront her daughter and make sure she knows what she is getting herself into.i do not think that it was an invasion of privacy cuz if he wanted it to private he would of done it. A parent has a right to know what there kids are doing cuz if they didnt how could the protect us, and isnt that what they are suppose to do??
ReplyDeletei think parent are suppose to know a little of what there kids are doing cuz they have more experience and can teach us from their mistakes and stuff
<3 xoxo colt45 xoxo <3
To -The Black Power Ranger-
ReplyDeleteGood point but now your bring a point where we have got no information about about. We can debate all night either the daughter maybe a "slut" or is the daughters "boyfriend a dick"
How do we not already know she's has the password to her daughter account and goes on?
As a parent be honest like you just pointed out "(your mother doesn't always know who you actually are)" So would you now have the brain to think I was a kid once, I did things, doesn't mean she can't do the exact same over. Therefore making you take the action of having the password or the decency to check it out once a month.? I rather not debate all night but If I were too I rather have the proof to back up a point a bring up.
last comment was from ox-ButterFlyGirl-xo
ReplyDeletesorry for the mistakes It is ox-ButterFlyGirl-xo
To ox-ButterFlyGirl-xo
ReplyDeletelike i agree with you but i'm just stating as you said ya her mother was once a kid and probly did stupid fun things, yet shes still worried and basically upset with the fact that her daughters date is doing these things.. so clearly her mother doesn't accept it.
-The Black Power Ranger-
I think maria's mom should confront her daughter about what she saw on his MySpace page. Maria might be able to explain and make her mom less worried. Her mom should also have a conversation with him and see what he has to say for himself.
ReplyDeleteI think parents have a right to use profiles to check up on their teens, especially if you leave your page public. Parents want to know what your doing and make sure your safe. Just because their checking your profile doesn't mean they don't trust you, their just trying to protect you.
*BluePowerRanger*
Parents will always be parents no matter what, you can't change the facts of life. Mothers will always look out for their "young" and that's that.
ReplyDeleteI mean I know I wouldn't like having my parents "snooping" around but I don't think Maria has a choice.
TTYL
Signed,
Girl with a Passion
In my opinion, Maria's mother shouldn't have atleast not before telling her daughter she was going to. She doesn't have to ask Maria, since it is public and she does have the free will to do it. But putting myself in Maria's shoes, I wouldn't appritiate my mother doing that. She's being sneaky. Which is something I know my mom hates me doing. She's kinda showing a bad influence on her by doing that. But on the other hand Maria's mom is doing it for the better, and to know her daughter will be safe and not get hurt with this boy. Unfortunetly, the boy turned out to be degrating to woman, and have the wrong kind of pictures up on myspace. Yet I do think it is okay for her to check out his myspace, since she hasn't ever met the boy before, and since her daughter is going to her prom with him. She just should have talked it out with her daughter, and possibly asked to meet him before the prom, or just hear more about the boy.
ReplyDeleteEeyore :D
I think maria's mom should of talked to her about the boy before going onto his profile and checking him out. She might of been able to explain to her mom the type of person he is so her mom wouldn't be so worried.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame her mom for going onto his profile to see what he's like because she has never met him before and knew nothing about him. She was only trying to protect her daughter. Parents should be aloud to check up on their kids because they only want whats best for them and they don't want to see them get in trouble.
-Red Power Ranger- :)
I think maria's mom should've asked her what her boyfriend was like and his personality before she went out with him. He might've seemed like not the boy she thought but if she had talked to her daughter she may have learned he's a good guy.
ReplyDeleteI think that parents are entitled to go snooping if they please to see the inside story because its no different then someone else seeing what others are up too. But if it went further then no but if the mothers just snooping his pages then she can but let her daughter make her own decisions and her own mistakes and just be there for her is she needed it.
-red roses-
Well, I not only think what Maria's mother did was an invasion of privacy but also wrong. It's sort of like spying on someone, or evesdropping. Yes, as a mother she has the right to be concerned (especially after what she saw) but she should trust her daughter to make the right decisions. Even if she doesn't make the best decisions, live and learn.. right? As for her mother confronting her about what she did, PERSONALLY I think it's a horrible idea. Unless Maria is and extremely laid back teenager that doesn't care about her mother snooping in her not only soical but personal life aswell (highly unlikely). I see the result in either a fight or an argument. Both something to be avoided if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteI think that maria's mom should've asked her all about the boy before. She should've found out what he was like before so she knew, but even though if she didn't like what she saw it really isnt up to her. It's her daughters choice.
ReplyDeleteI think that parents can use myspace or other resources like that because there just as free as any one else to do so but if she has to do that to know what the guy is like that her daughters with then it shows she's not involved enough. She should be able to talk to her and ask what the boy is actually alike and not judge just because of some pictures.
-red roses-
well i think that her mom should have just asked to meet the guy before they go out together to prom. i think that it is ok for peoples parents to be checking up on them because they might not care or see how easy it is to creep them. if a parent was to check ity they could have a say in what is said and put on the interent for there own safety..
ReplyDelete*JOEdirt*